Ugh! I can’t believe I even just typed that! How can I quit smoking? How can I say goodbye to my lovely cigarette friends?
I just have to. They’re expensive. They’re not good for me. Not in the casual, “I’m a little out of breath” kind of way I viewed it in my early 20s, but in an ever-more-serious “I have kids and want to be around when they grow up” kind of a way.
It’s getting cold outside. Since we don’t smoke in the house or around the kids at all, I’m facing another winter of huddling outside in the wind and cold to smoke a cigarette I’m not even enjoying because it’s so damn freezing. When you force yourself to keep smoking because damn it, you lit the thing and you’re not going to waste it, but you just want to go inside…it’s time to just let it go.
I’ve quit before, of course. Six months here and there, ten months with my first pregnancy, almost a year with the second. But I always picked them up again. I missed them. I love smoking. I always have.
But I’m starting to not love it now, and I need to stop it.
I’m not quitting cold turkey, and I’m not wasting money on the patches or anything. (I’ll tell a secret: I used the patch to quite twice. Each time I stopped putting the patches on after the first couple of days. My issue is the oral thing, not the nicotine.) Instead I’m cutting way down. I had four cigarettes yesterday. I’m about to go have my second today. I’ll have three a day for the next couple of days. By the end of the week I’ll be done.