Comments on: Who Pays? http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/ Author of Urban Fantasy Fri, 10 Feb 2012 11:56:28 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: December/Stacia http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3649 December/Stacia Sat, 29 Sep 2007 23:50:00 +0000 http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3649 And yes, Kerry, having a man cook is lovely. I've not known many who do, sadly. :-)<br/><br/><br/>Very true, Camille. It is fantasy, in both the literal genre sense and the literal escapism sense. :-) I guess I just hate the thought of someone getting disgusted by the men always paying. I don't know. I guess if that would bother them they probably wouldn't like my books anyway. :-)<br/><br/><br/>Oh, absolutely, Charles! Friends are a totally different situation. And yes, ultimately, the one who asks should pay. I prefer it when the man does the asking. But if the woman asks she should ante up.<br/><br/><br/>Lol I agree Gabriele, 100%! Opening doors, holding coats, pulling out chairs, putting their hand in the small of your back to guide you through crowds...all necessary. I don't know that killing is necessary just for leering, but touching? Yes.<br/><br/><br/>SM, you're such a lovely man. Really and truly. And yes, Kerry, having a man cook is lovely. I’ve not known many who do, sadly. :-)

Very true, Camille. It is fantasy, in both the literal genre sense and the literal escapism sense. :-) I guess I just hate the thought of someone getting disgusted by the men always paying. I don’t know. I guess if that would bother them they probably wouldn’t like my books anyway. :-)

Oh, absolutely, Charles! Friends are a totally different situation. And yes, ultimately, the one who asks should pay. I prefer it when the man does the asking. But if the woman asks she should ante up.

Lol I agree Gabriele, 100%! Opening doors, holding coats, pulling out chairs, putting their hand in the small of your back to guide you through crowds…all necessary. I don’t know that killing is necessary just for leering, but touching? Yes.

SM, you’re such a lovely man. Really and truly.

]]> By: December/Stacia http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3648 December/Stacia Sat, 29 Sep 2007 23:45:00 +0000 http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3648 See, Bernard! Introducing oneself is great--and must have made you feel great--but she still let you be the one to do the asking. That's a sweet story!<br/><br/><br/>Now, see, Sam, I think the rules change considerably once a couple is boyfriend/girlfriend and not just dating. Once the relationship is exclusive it becomes a non-issue, and they can trade off or pool their funds or whatever they do. It shouldn't be always one person. :-)<br/><br/><br/>Hi Kerry, thanks for the comment! Yes, it does feel make one wonder when one has to always treat the man, doesn't it? I guess because we tend to think men should feel the way our friend Scary Monster does, where he would be ashamed to have a woman always paying. Again, it's a bit different when it's a relationship that's gone on for some time, but in a brief relationship? I would have gotten out of there too! See, Bernard! Introducing oneself is great–and must have made you feel great–but she still let you be the one to do the asking. That’s a sweet story!

Now, see, Sam, I think the rules change considerably once a couple is boyfriend/girlfriend and not just dating. Once the relationship is exclusive it becomes a non-issue, and they can trade off or pool their funds or whatever they do. It shouldn’t be always one person. :-)

Hi Kerry, thanks for the comment! Yes, it does feel make one wonder when one has to always treat the man, doesn’t it? I guess because we tend to think men should feel the way our friend Scary Monster does, where he would be ashamed to have a woman always paying. Again, it’s a bit different when it’s a relationship that’s gone on for some time, but in a brief relationship? I would have gotten out of there too!

]]> By: Scary Monster http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3647 Scary Monster Sat, 29 Sep 2007 15:00:00 +0000 http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3647 Me got too much vanity and pride to let a woman pay. After all, the money is next to nothing compared to the conversation and beauty that she provides.<br/><br/>When me goes out with the Vixen, she has the "family wallet" in her possesion so eventhough me asks fer the check, she forks over the cash.<br/><br/>There are exceptions foer special events though.<br/><br/>STOMP! Me got too much vanity and pride to let a woman pay. After all, the money is next to nothing compared to the conversation and beauty that she provides.

When me goes out with the Vixen, she has the “family wallet” in her possesion so eventhough me asks fer the check, she forks over the cash.

There are exceptions foer special events though.

STOMP!

]]> By: Gabriele C. http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3646 Gabriele C. Sat, 29 Sep 2007 12:36:00 +0000 http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3646 I'm hopelessly old fashioned. The man pays. <br/><br/>He should also open the door for me and help me into my jacket, and kill other men who leer at me. :) I’m hopelessly old fashioned. The man pays.

He should also open the door for me and help me into my jacket, and kill other men who leer at me. :)

]]> By: Charles Gramlich http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3645 Charles Gramlich Sat, 29 Sep 2007 02:37:00 +0000 http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3645 I'll check out the interview as soon as I get a spare moment. As for who pays. I say the one who does the asking pays, and that is usually the man. If it's friends going out from work then splitting it is the way to go. I’ll check out the interview as soon as I get a spare moment. As for who pays. I say the one who does the asking pays, and that is usually the man. If it’s friends going out from work then splitting it is the way to go.

]]> By: Camille Alexa http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3644 Camille Alexa Fri, 28 Sep 2007 21:43:00 +0000 http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3644 <i>Perhaps it's because my heroes [...] are gentlemen.<br/><br/>Or perhaps I'm a totally clueless dinosaur and should be shot for betraying womankind.<br/><br/>What do you think?</i><br/><br/>I think you're writing fantasy. It doesn't matter what real world sociopolitics dictate or demand; it just matters what kind of universe your readers (and you) want to inhabit for a little quality time away from reality.<br/><br/>If I want reality (however skewed) I watch news. Perhaps it’s because my heroes [...] are gentlemen.

Or perhaps I’m a totally clueless dinosaur and should be shot for betraying womankind.

What do you think?

I think you’re writing fantasy. It doesn’t matter what real world sociopolitics dictate or demand; it just matters what kind of universe your readers (and you) want to inhabit for a little quality time away from reality.

If I want reality (however skewed) I watch news.

]]> By: Kerry Allen http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3643 Kerry Allen Fri, 28 Sep 2007 18:57:00 +0000 http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3643 I had a (brief) relationship where I footed the bill more than once and was left thinking, "What the hell is wrong with this loser?" No matter how enlightened and independent and 21st Century I am, no matter how well I support myself, I'm hardwired that men are Providers, and one that mooches off a woman is weak and flawed.<br/><br/>Then again, I'm a cheap date. Burger King is my idea of a restaurant. Wendy's is my idea of a fancy restaurant. I'm not exactly putting a hurt on anyone's wallet. <br/><br/>If a guy really wants to impress, he can put the wallet away and make dinner for me... I had a (brief) relationship where I footed the bill more than once and was left thinking, “What the hell is wrong with this loser?” No matter how enlightened and independent and 21st Century I am, no matter how well I support myself, I’m hardwired that men are Providers, and one that mooches off a woman is weak and flawed.

Then again, I’m a cheap date. Burger King is my idea of a restaurant. Wendy’s is my idea of a fancy restaurant. I’m not exactly putting a hurt on anyone’s wallet.

If a guy really wants to impress, he can put the wallet away and make dinner for me…

]]> By: Sam http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3642 Sam Fri, 28 Sep 2007 18:12:00 +0000 http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3642 I guess I agree with the person who invites should be expected to pay. <br/>And I don't think women should be shy about asking a guy out - there is a stereotype about men always having to pay that grates on my nerves. I get aggravated when I see my son's credit card debit, and the meals he pays for his girlfriends. I mean, they can pay too sometimes. Jeez. I'm teaching my daughter to pull her own weight and be independant. Too bad if some guys can't handle that. I guess I agree with the person who invites should be expected to pay.
And I don’t think women should be shy about asking a guy out – there is a stereotype about men always having to pay that grates on my nerves. I get aggravated when I see my son’s credit card debit, and the meals he pays for his girlfriends. I mean, they can pay too sometimes. Jeez. I’m teaching my daughter to pull her own weight and be independant. Too bad if some guys can’t handle that.

]]> By: BernardL http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3641 BernardL Fri, 28 Sep 2007 16:52:00 +0000 http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3641 It's not much of a story, D. In 1968, when a young woman stopped a young man in the middle of a store, introduced herself, and gave him her phone number, she didn't have to ask for a date too. As it turned out, she only lived around the block from me, and was two years behind me in school. She knew I was going into the service shortly, and that I really didn't know she existed. She took care of that. :) It’s not much of a story, D. In 1968, when a young woman stopped a young man in the middle of a store, introduced herself, and gave him her phone number, she didn’t have to ask for a date too. As it turned out, she only lived around the block from me, and was two years behind me in school. She knew I was going into the service shortly, and that I really didn’t know she existed. She took care of that. :)

]]> By: December/Stacia http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3640 December/Stacia Fri, 28 Sep 2007 15:24:00 +0000 http://www.staciakane.net/2007/09/28/who-pays/#comment-3640 Absolutely, Bernita. If he's not a gentleman, he's not worth my time. Or my heroine's.<br/><br/>You know, V95, that attitude makes me so mad, the idea that letting someone buy her meal makes a woman a pet or something ridiculous like that. Aside from anything else, I think it denotes an obsession with money and finances that's distasteful at best.<br/><br/>Did she introduce herself, or ask you out, Bernard? I'd love to hear the story.<br/><br/><br/>Right, Seeley. Everyone competes, men and women, but I still think a woman is a better prize than a man. Which is why he should pay for stuff. Because he should be treating her well if he wants to win her.<br/><br/><br/>Yep, Angie, that's pretty much how it went for me, too. No real "date" dates, just doing stuff together. And a lot of the time, the money we had quickly became "our" money, pooled together for whatever reason.<br/><br/>Kind of sad that the whole dating process has disappeared. It's funny, that's one of the things I'm enjoying most about writing a relationship where the characters are unsure of each other. They're still <i>dating</i>. It gives us all a chance to get to know them, I think. Absolutely, Bernita. If he’s not a gentleman, he’s not worth my time. Or my heroine’s.

You know, V95, that attitude makes me so mad, the idea that letting someone buy her meal makes a woman a pet or something ridiculous like that. Aside from anything else, I think it denotes an obsession with money and finances that’s distasteful at best.

Did she introduce herself, or ask you out, Bernard? I’d love to hear the story.

Right, Seeley. Everyone competes, men and women, but I still think a woman is a better prize than a man. Which is why he should pay for stuff. Because he should be treating her well if he wants to win her.

Yep, Angie, that’s pretty much how it went for me, too. No real “date” dates, just doing stuff together. And a lot of the time, the money we had quickly became “our” money, pooled together for whatever reason.

Kind of sad that the whole dating process has disappeared. It’s funny, that’s one of the things I’m enjoying most about writing a relationship where the characters are unsure of each other. They’re still dating. It gives us all a chance to get to know them, I think.

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