Are they over yet?
I really like having the girlies home, because not having to take them to school means not having to get up early, which is nice. But damn am I sick of everything else. Especially all the eating. And nobody being around. It’s like a ghost town here in Blogland. No emails. Everyone’s busy with their families and stuff, la de freakin da.
Okay, I’m not really that grumpy. But I am ready for the holidays to end. I think part of my grump is that I’m between projects and debating what I want to do next. Well, okay, not entirely. I owe EC a novella and I’m going to start it next week. But that shouldn’t take more than two weeks or so and then I need a new project, unless Something Big happens which, let’s face it, is not going to happen in a day. (I would make a resolution not to constantly think I suck and be more positive but, c’mon, what fun is that? And really, who wants that? Would anyone come here to read My Big Fat Egotistical Blog? Here’s a sample, so you can tell me:
Today I put the finishing touches on what is surely the Next Big Huge Bestseller, which I am convinced agents will fall at my feet to represent. Man, I am constantly amazed by how awesomely skilled I am as a writer, not to mention being such a fabulous and witty person. Seriously. All those famous writers? They have nothing on me. I won’t take anything less than a million, though, because I deserve it. Later today I’m going to admire myself in a mirror for a while and then compose a poem dedicated to my everlasting glory, which I will post here for your edifiction. You’ll want to come back, as my words are not to be missed, even in iambic pentameter.
See? Sucks, right?)
The actual holiday was pretty good. Seriously, my kids? Awesome. Didn’t wake us up until 9 am to open presents, and even then were happy to crawl into bed for a cuddle first. And I got a Mystery Science Theatre DVD box set, yay! Unfortunately it contained two Pod People discs instead of one Pod People and one Cave Dwellers, so it will have to be returned. Even more unfortunately we will probably have to pay Customs duties on it again when it’s reshipped. But hey, it’s worth it.
Also, the hubs shaved off his facial hair, which made me happy. More fun to kiss now.
What else? Um. I guess that’s it, really. See why I want the holidays to end? I have been sitting on my butt watching tv and doing very little else for days now. Plus, my living room is an absolute pigsty what with all the new Little People and Playmobil toys lying around. I swear those little plastic fuckers multiply in the night like bizarre shoemaker’s elves. Only instead of making shoes they make more sharp pieces of plastic with which to impale human feet.
Anyway. Now we have the drama of New Year’s Eve–always fun here in the UK, where they put on incredibly strange ice-dancing displays and sing depressing hymns at New Year. Seriously, you want to party it up, get somebody in to sing “Amazing Grace”. Now THAT is fun. Maybe they’ll have someone come in for a rousing rendition of The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald or that perennial favorite, Gloomy Sunday. (Maybe they’ll get “the English Elvis”, Sir Cliff Richard, in to sing it. I love that. “The English Elvis”. Yeah, you know who our Elvis is? ELVIS. But that’s a different post.)
So there we go. Probably my last rant of the year.