So. It occurred to me earlier that my blogging is going to be a bit sketchy for a while.
Our move is almost upon us. We leave the UK in about three weeks. I am totally freaking out.
Here’s the thing. I *hate* change. I am the only person I know who once seriously considered giving up a promotion at work because it meant rather than being downstairs, my desk was upstairs. It took me a couple of weeks to get over that. No, really. Two weeks of feeling sick at work, and wrong, and missing my old cubicle buddies (who, let me emphasise, I still had plenty of contact with).
At another job, they redecorated and I cried about it. No, really. (Privately, of course; I didn’t snivel where people could see me. But it just felt so wrong. It wasn’t the same! It wasn’t familiar! Waaaah!)
So as you can probably imagine…I am having a difficult time. I haven’t slept more than four or five hours at a stretch in over a week (and yes, part of this is the aftermath of finishing the book). My stomach is in knots. Tears constantly tingle the back of my eyes; everything is changing. Our girls will have their last days at their respective schools in a few weeks; we’re dropping off letters to the administrators confirming it and all that. We’re going places and thinking “We’re probably only going to be here X more times.”
Have I mentioned that I’m totally freaking out and that I HATE change?
It’s not that I’m not excited. I absolutely am. I can’t wait. It’s not that I don’t think we’re doing the right thing, because I absolutely do. And while there will be some things I’ll miss…yeah, not that many, really. (Except fish & chips. Oh GODS how I will miss that, because I love it so much. Okay, that’s making me want to cry.)
The worst part about all this freaking out? It’s making me a bit…odd. I had the same issue before our wedding; about a week and a half beforehand I, who am (is that right? it doesn’t seem right, but “is” doesn’t either. This is a perfect illustration of my point, btw) usually pretty good at picking up on others’ moods/attitudes, become totally incapable of doing so. I literally cannot tell if someone is joking or being bitchy or what. This makes me irritable. I don’t like the way it feels.
Anyway. All this wordiness can be summed up with; I am not a happy camper at the moment and am thus trying to tread lightly. Please be gentle with me?
It can also be summed up with the following:
*I will be away next Thursday
*I will try to keep my regular Mon/Thurs schedule but can’t guarantee it; as we get closer to the time I will be freaking out even more, which is boring to read about, in addition to having all kinds of stuff to do (including actual work; I still have an April 1 deadline)
*I will probably NOT be around, here or elsewhere, from April 7th-April 17th or so. I will try, but we’ll be traveling for most of it. (This is actually one of the things I’m totally excited about; we’ll be in NYC briefly and I get to have lunch with Agent Man, and lunch with editors, and meet the absolutely amazing people at Del Rey and Pocket, and I’m really, really so excited about it I might scream like a little girl).
*I’ll try to check in at least once when we stop off at my Mom’s place for a breather.
*I will be at the Romantic Times convention in Orlando; I arrive April 21st. I will be at the big EC party Wednesday night, I will be at the Saturday signing. The League of Reluctant Adults is doing a Club RT event Thursday morning with some great prizes; I’ll be there. I’m doing a panel on creating an online presence on Friday at 12:30 (I think). I’ll probably be in the bar the rest of the time.
*After RT I’ll be visiting family and friends; so again, more sporadic posting. I hope to be all settled and ready to be Back by the second week in May.
You guys are going to totally abandon me, aren’t you? I’ll be gone so long you’ll just forget about me. Sigh.
Anyway. I *will* have my BlackBerry the whole time, so I will still be reachable by email, but seriously. If it’s not really important, you probably won’t get much of a response if any (it’s hard to type on that tiny keyboard. Easier than texting on a regular phone, yes, but still). Please don’t take it personally if I don’t reply; I have no idea how much time I’m going to have. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t feel free to email me. Please do if you like. It just means I might not be able to reply.
So there you go.
Have I mentioned that I am totally freaking out? Seriously. Panic.