What Stace had to say on Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011
The More Things Change…

Well. Things totally do change, don’t they? I certainly have changed, and I will prove that now.

Over the weekend, the hubs and I were looking for something. We couldn’t find it. We tore the house apart hunting for it, and in the process came across a lot of old pictures and a stack of my old report cards from first, second, and third grade. At my elementary school, you got one of three grades, basically, and then there was a space for the teacher to write a comment.

You’ll see how very, very different I am. Maturity has taken me in its grip and made me its bitch.

This is another very photo-heavy post.

So. The grades go:

C = Commendable

S = Satsfactory

I = Improvement Needed

(Yes, that is me. I was adorable.)

  • Now. Each year has two semesters; each semester has two quarters, for a total of four. Report cards are issued once per quarter, which makes four a year. I’m only going to excerpt the fun ones. Because it’s all about fun, right?

    So. Let’s start with first grade, shall we? And you can see how very, very different things are today. As I said, the teachers could write comments, and I think it’s in the comments that we find the most informative aspect of the report cards (not to mention they made the hubs literally cry with laughter, but whatever):

    Short-fused? Impatient? ME? SHOCKING!

    Now, that’s just unfair, isn’t it? “Shows temper?” “Talks a great deal?” “Improvement Needed” in “Practices Self-control?” Fie, Mrs. P! I’m glad I no longer exhibit that sort of behavior.

    My second grade report cards are full of riches. More testament to how very much I’ve changed:

    Distracts the class by being silly, my ass! And how exactly is that not “showing a positive attitude?” If the class is amused, that seems positive to me, right? I never had a negative attitude in my whole damn life.

    It’s not all bad, though:

    From the second quarter, we have:

    “Improvement Needed” in exhibiting courtesy and accepting criticism? “Often pouts and cries when things aren’t going her way?” I think Mrs. S had me confused with someone else. (Although my academic strength being reading does indeed sound accurate.)

    Then we once again have issues with my attitude in music class. I guess I wasn’t sufficiently happy to be writing letters to Liesl Von Trapp (yes, that was a class project) or singing “You’re A Grand Old Flag” for the millionth time:

    Oh, and here we go with the “Doesn’t work well with others.” Blah blah blah. And I ask you, who does like to make corrections on their papers?

    Now we have third grade. Another Mrs. S., but a different one. I didn’t like her and she didn’t like me. You can see her clear bias reflected in these outrageous lies. Lies, I tell you!

    As if I’m not aware of other people’s feelings!

    “Needs to try harder” at practicing sportsmanship? “Likes extra attention?” Pure libel.

    My attitude Needs Improvement? My attitude is just fine, thank you. Maybe it’s your attitude that needs changing, did you ever think of that?

    And this is the last one; unfortunately I don’t have any report cards from after third quarter of third grade. But this one is, though not my favorite, one I do find especially pleasing:

    “Enjoys writing stories.” Well, there you go.

    17 comments to “The More Things Change…”

    1. Eleni
      · March 2nd, 2011 at 1:14 pm · Link

      This is hilarious. I love how the way we are as children has so much effect on us as adults. And how funny it is to see how teachers regarded their students after all these years!

    2. B
      · March 2nd, 2011 at 1:21 pm · Link

      Good grief, I remember those things.

      I got “Doesn’t work well with others” a lot for a while there. Think they stopped bothering after I got my Asperger’s diagnoses, though. I mean, duh. :mrgreen:

      It does kind of make me wonder what they were expecting of you. Immature behavior? Yes, most kids have that at that age. It’s called, you know, childhood.

    3. Guinevere
      · March 2nd, 2011 at 1:26 pm · Link

      These are too funny. I hope you found whatever you were looking for eventually, but it’s nice you found this treasure trove along the way!

    4. Nicole
      · March 2nd, 2011 at 2:52 pm · Link

      Yikes! That’s detailed! I usually got comments like, “Nicole is an excellent reader, but she doesn’t apply herself in math.” I didn’t get mouthy until later in life. Heh!

    5. Nat (Wicked Lil Pixie)
      · March 2nd, 2011 at 2:53 pm · Link

      Coffee straight out the nose Stacia! My report cards are IDENTICAL. Hell they sent me to the school counsellor for talking to much muahaha

      One teacher told me I would amount to nothing & would never graduate high school (this was when I was in grade FIVE) I know where he works to this day, wanna go hand him my fist.

    6. L. Blanchard
      · March 2nd, 2011 at 3:16 pm · Link

      Wow. That was hilarious.

      Now this makes me want to pull mine out. I just got a folder from my mom with my report cards last week, she at 87 years old felt it was time for her to stop having to deal with the paper trail of my life.

    7. T.M. Thomas
      · March 2nd, 2011 at 3:32 pm · Link

      “word attack skills” in second grade? What sort of verbal assassin school was this?

      My report cards were similar with the crying and the pouting, but I never said anything. My teachers also referred to me as Stacey, though, which was very offputting.

    8. Betsy Dornbusch
      · March 2nd, 2011 at 4:15 pm · Link

      I’m facebook friends with my 4th grade teacher, a great guy then and now. He used to have this way of talking to me: Now, Betsy… when he was going to launch into a kindhearted, mild-mannered lecture on some outrageous thing I said or did.

      He just left me a comment awhile back that started, “Now, Betsy…”

      Cracks my shit up.

    9. Lesley
      · March 2nd, 2011 at 4:17 pm · Link

      Very funny.

      My primary 3 teacher (I live in Scotland so I have no idea what grade that is) wrote that I was bossy, talked too much and needed to be reminded that I was not the teacher. I was clearly a leader from a young age and yet she made me “tidy” cupboards to keep me busy. I spent a lot of time that year in the cupboard.

    10. Angie
      · March 2nd, 2011 at 4:47 pm · Link

      Sounds like this Stacy kid is a writer with attitude. 😀

      The first time we ever did anything about paragraphs was in third grade. My teacher said “I want to see four sentences in every paragraph!” so I figured that’s what a paragraph was, and every four sentences I went down to a new line and indented. The teacher seemed happy about it, so there you go.

      I did notice that the paragraphs in my books (I was already a voracious reader with a bookcase (full) of my own at home) had varying numbers of sentences in paragraphs, and I wondered about that. I figured it was just a school thing, though, so I shrugged and kept my Four Sentences = One Paragraph rule for the next few years of school. That particular rut took a while to dig myself out of.


    11. April Morelock
      · March 2nd, 2011 at 4:56 pm · Link

      Those were priceless!!! And soo much fun. I’m sure those comments gave your parents fits though. LOL…

      I wish I had fun stuff like that on my report cards. Man, I’m not sure where those are. I’ll have to find them now.

    12. Jennifer Haymore
      · March 2nd, 2011 at 5:12 pm · Link

      LOL! Hilarious! My report cards were the opposite: “Jennifer never speaks in class.” “Jennifer shows great aptitude in math,” etc.

      How’d I end up being a writer, again?

      Thanks for sharing those!

    13. Shiloh Walker
      · March 2nd, 2011 at 5:43 pm · Link

      Okay, this is awful but the notes made me snicker. And it sounds like you…

    14. Layla Messner
      · March 2nd, 2011 at 10:49 pm · Link

      Hehe. This is great.

      I think mine all say something like, “very quiet and well-behaved. knows the answers but needs to speak up more”


    15. Marie
      · March 3rd, 2011 at 2:02 am · Link

      We don’t get report cards like that here in Sweden. (At least we didn’t when I was a kid, but they’re thinking of changing that now. I didn’t get any grades, either, until eighth grade.)

      We do have “quarter-hour conversations” with the teacher and parents. I do remember once, in maybe second or third grade, the teacher said that I needed to let other people in the group decide things sometimes too. lol

      In the following grades, the talk mostly went: Teacher: “Everything is good. Nothing to talk about.” Dad: “So, I hear you’ve bought a new car?”

    16. Jill Sorenson
      · March 3rd, 2011 at 8:58 am · Link

      You are funny. 😀

      I’d have been horrified by an S- or Needs Improvement on my report card! I was such a goodie two shoes as a kid. Clearly I have changed a lot also. Ha.

      The only time I remember getting into trouble was when the teacher accused me of “allowing” a boy to copy my work. I had no clue, of course. The idea of someone cheating (why would they need to? school was easy) baffled me. I think I cried and said I was sorry.

    17. BernardL
      · March 3rd, 2011 at 2:53 pm · Link

      LOL! Very entertaining, especially the running commentary. :)


    1. punishment

    Leave a Reply

    XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

    Subscribe without commenting