Stacia Kane

So a discussion began last night, on a forum of which I am a member, about the rinsing of raw meats before cooking, specifically poultry. Some rinse, some don’t. Another member commented that apparently the FDA recommends against rinsing. You know why?

Because the water can splash and land on other things, thus spreading bacteria.

I had to laugh. I love the idea, first of all, that the FDA is recommending against a basic sanitary routine because the people doing it are apparently not capable of cleaning up after themselves. Seriously.

But it got me thinking about one of my biggest, hugest pet peeves ever, which I’m going to share with you.

See, I am anal about raw poultry and/or pork. Seriously. I treat that shit like it’s nitroglycerine. Nitroglycerine which also carries the Ebola virus. And is armed with razor blades.

Here’s what I do:
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I have decided to put together your week’s book shopping list for you. No, no, don’t thank me. I do it because I care. I am just that generous. I have undertaken all of the heavy lifting, so to speak, in telling you how to spend your book-buying money this week. And in return, all I ask is that you, y’know, buy the books. Especially because, in addition to the pure-A awesomess of them, there just might be something in it for you.

First, take Mark Henry. Please! Ba-dum-bum. No, seriously, take him. Or rather, take his book. Well, don’t take it, as in steal it, you understand. Take it as in to-the-register. Mark’s awesome, amazing first book in his completely hilarious Amanda Feral series–called HAPPY HOUR OF THE DAMNED–has been re-released in mass market paperback today, and you need to get that bitch on your shelf, foreals. It’s a mass market paperback! What could be better? Only $7, and that perfect mmp size. (I love mass market paperbacks. They’re my faaavorite.)

See, here’s the thing. The Amanda Feral books are so funny and awesome. They’re not strictly urban fantasy. They’re like Christopher Moore mixed with Anna Wintour, if Anna Wintour lived on Soylent Green. (Which, who knows? I’m not saying she does or doesn’t. Hey, it’s not for me to judge, right?) But for some reason, some reason I cannot fathom, the books didn’t quite catch on the way they should have, the way those of us who’ve read them thought they absolutely should. I know most of you who read here know Mark, and how awesome he is. I know most of you probably read my initial review of this book on its trade paperback release, in which I confessed the deep jealousy the book inspired in me because I could never in a million years be that funny and original.

The point is, the books are awesome. And WE NEED THEM. We need books like this, so sharp and different. Books that cast such a clear and sarcastic light on our world. We need this kind of mean-spirited but good-hearted fun. But we might not get more, if this mmp re-release doesn’t sell well. (Mark explains it here.)

So go and get it. Head for your local bookstore. Or get it online, even. Mark explains here, with links, how you can even get your copy personalized, by him.

Now. I happen to have in my possession cover flats for DEMON POSSESSED and UNHOLY MAGIC, the second Downside book. (No, I don’t have any for UNHOLY GHOSTS.) The UNHOLY MAGIC flats have the book’s blurb on them. I have not released the blurb yet, and didn’t plan to for several months, because…well, because I think it’s more fun that way. BUT. If you buy the mmp of HAPPY HOUR between today and…hmm…let’s say Feb. 16th (which gives you two weeks), and let me know you’ve bought it (either through commenting here or emailing me), I will enter you in a drawing to win both cover flats (which I will sign, if you like). In fact, I may very well pick more than one winner.

Okay? So get to buying!! Amanda feral needs you, and not just for dinner.

Okay. Other books you can put on your list. First is ACCIDENTALLY DEMONIC by Dakota Cassidy, who is awesome and funny and warm and smart and cruel, in the way only a former beauty queen can be. Although you probably don’t need me to tell you that, since everyone knows and loves Dakota and her books.

Last, and certainly not least, is SHADOW BLADE by Seressia Glass. Okay, here’s the thing. I love this book for a number of reasons, mostly just because it’s awesome. I’ve always thought Seressia was a great writer and a very cool girl. And really, that’s why you need to buy the book. I’m only on page 85 so far and had to force myself to put it down in order to write this post.

But there is one other reason as well. The main character, Kira Solomon, is a beautiful, strong, funny, smart African-American woman (as is Seressia herself). I’m not saying buy the book because it has black characters or was written by a black author. But I am saying, I’d love to see more racial and ethnic diversity in the UF world, and publishers will produce what readers buy and support. So show them that we’ll all buy and read and love books with MCs of color; books with those characters on the cover, too. Seriously, this book is so good. Really cool. Go get it.

(Oh, and while you’re at it, should any of you feel the need to pre-order any of MY books, that would of course be fine too. Just in case you thought I might not want you to or anything like that. It’s okay with me, I swear.)

And now, something that I am betting money Mark henry will figure out how to fit into a book. An inventor has created the world’s first talking sex robot. And to me, at least, it looks a little bit like Catherine Tate. Apparently it has a kind of voice-recognition software that is like artificial intelligence, it not only makes orgasmic sounds but vibrates to “simulate” orgasm, and it will “respond” when you speak. My guess is the responses will be things like:

“You’re so smart!”
“You’re so funny!”
“Won’t you please have sex with me now? I’m tired of talking.”
“You’re my hero.”
“Wow, how is it that you’re always right?”
“You’re amazing!”
“Your cock is so big it scares me!”

…but those are just my guesses. Anyway, it’s seven grand, which it seems to me for that price you could pay a hooker to come by a couple of times a week to laugh at your jokes and fake an orgasm, but, again, who am I to judge, right?

And I’m going to stop talking now, because it’s far more important that you all run out to the bookstore or get to online orderin’. Go do that, and remember, I’m giving away signed cover flats!!

Yes, yes, we all know about Amazon vs. MacMillan. And I’m sure we all have our own opinions. I know I certainly do, but since Scott Westerfeld said it better I’m just going to link to his post on it, and say, THIS.

I am also leaving the Amazon links up on my site, because I know there are readers who prefer Amazon, or even side with Amazon. But I do encourage you all to buy your books elsewhere. Bookstores are important. Choice is important. Support bookstores, and buy from them, because it matters.

Now. This weekend was also my first-ever attempt at making a beef-and-lentil soup. It turned out pretty well! As always I messed about with the recipe a bit, sort of amalgamating several into one and picking and choosing. For example, most recipes I found called for canned tomatoes. I don’t particularly like eating tomatoes in soup, so I substituted a can of tomato paste instead; tomato flavor with no slimy tomatoes. So here’s the recipe, since I promised I’d post it:
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Seeing as how we are now less than a month(!!) away from the release of DEMON POSSESSED (2/23), I’ve been hunting through the ms for the last few days looking for a new sneak-peeky excerpt to post. Difficult, as always, since we want to avoid spoilers.

Today’s excerpt comes from Chapter Two, and it seemed to me like a nice little view into Megan’s life as the story begins.

I hope you enjoy it!

Note: This is from the pre-copyedited manuscript. The final printed version may vary slightly.)
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Hey all!

Today is the official release date of Undead Much?, the second novel in my great friend Stacey Jay’s Megan Berry, Zombie Settler series.

I LOVE this series; it is so much fun, and scary, and awesome. Here’s the blurb:

Q: How many guys does it take to make your boyfriend wild with jealousy?
A: Only one, if he’s UNDEAD.

Megan Berry had a perfectly average new-sundress-and-boy-obsessed life–until her power to settle the Undead returned. Oh, and then her best friend tried to kill her–and ruin homecoming–with a bunch of black magically raised zombies. At least she got a spot on the pom squad and a smokin’ boyfriend (Ethan). But now Megan is in deep fertilizer all over again.

Why? Well, let’s see…

· Feral new super-strong zombies? Check.
· Cheerleader vs. pom squad turf war threatening half time as they know it? Check.
· An Undead psychic hottie (Cliff) who’s predicting a zombie apocalypse–and doing his best to tempt Megan away from Ethan? Yum. I mean, Check.
· Earth-shattering secrets that could land Megan in Settler prison for life? Um, IT WASN’T ME!!!

Everyone thinks Megan’s at fault for the new uber-zombie uprising. Looks like she’ll need the help of both Cliff and Ethan if she’s going to prove her innocence before it’s too late…

Stacey’s made this fun little commercial/teaser video, too, so check it out:

First, let me just say that when I asked on Monday about keeping to my schedule, this was what I meant. I’d fallen into a bit of a trap with the blog, where I’d come up with a good idea for a post but hold on to it because it wasn’t a “blog day,” and by the time Monday/Thursday rolled around I would have either forgotten it or it felt outdated; the immediacy simply wasn’t there anymore. So I probably won’t be on a set schedule anymore but am still planing to blog minimum 2x a week, unless something happens or I’m buried in work (in which case I will let you know).

One of my new projects is really starting to come together in my head, too, at least to some degree. I’m considering starting to post metrics for it, simply because I did enjoy posting them back when I was writing UNHOLY GHOSTS.

Anyway. I got an interesting email the other night, and it sparked some interesting thoughts/discussions, so I thought I would share it with you and see what you think.

I’m not going to quote the email directly here, but it was from a lady who owns a small online jewelry store. She asked if I would be willing to accept a piece of her jewelry–for free–in exchange for blogging about it; positive or negative, it didn’t matter. Just mention the store.

I checked out the site, and some of the stuff was really nice. Stuff I would actually wear. I have very specific tastes in jewelry–ask anyone who’s ever tried to buy me any–so it’s not always easy for me to find things that appeal. I don’t wear gold, ever. I don’t like anything heart-shaped or with hearts on it. Not too sparkly. Not a fan of colored stones unless they’re onyx or black pearls (I do love black pearls). I like chunky things. I like dull silver better than shiny. And of course it just has to feel and look “right.” I’m not saying my tastes are so, so, so unique, just that as with everything else they are specific. But yeah, I liked some of the stuff on the site.

Here’s the thing, though. My initial response was, of course, suspicion. The email wasn’t particularly personal; no mention of how she’d been reading my blog for a while or had read any of my work or anything like that. The first thing I did was click Show Details so I could see if this was a mass email. It didn’t appear to be, but of course it could have been BCCd to a thousand people for all I know. I hopped on Twitter to see if anyone else had received a similar email. No. I checked out the site (obviously).

My other initial response, of course, was that while I guess it was a bit flattering, I couldn’t do it. Of course not. I’m not a reviewer. My blog doesn’t exist to inform consumers and it’s not one of those blogs that runs solely on the strength of my fascinating personality, like some famous blogs (I don’t really read any of those, but I know there are a few bloggers who are basically just famous for blogging). I’m a writer, not a shill.

It felt like it would be unethical for me to do this. And I still feel like it would be the wrong thing to do.

But here’s the thing. Right on the heels of that came, “But why?”

Why is it unethical? Why is it wrong for me to get something free in exchange for my honest opinion on it? That’s what review sites do; hell, as I mentioned the other day I know Del Rey has sent out some ARCs for UNHOLY GHOSTS and I’ve already gotten a look at two of the reviews written from those ARCs (both very positive, thank goodness!)

I mean, I talk about things here. I’ve talked about Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, and shoes, and clothes, and make-up items, and movies and of course books. I’ve recommended things and recommended you stay away from things.

So why is this different?

Actors or singers or TV personalities or whatever get free stuff all the time, in return for endorsement. Not that I’m equating myself with them in any way, I’m just saying. Heck, doctors get free samples of things in hope they’ll recommend them to their patients. I’m sure, in fact, that there are thousands of other situations where people, everyday people, get offered free things in hopes they’ll recommend those things to others; kind of like a free sample of a new fabric softener you’d get in the mail.

For that matter, I put brand name items in my books. I drink Coke, so my characters drink Coke; I wouldn’t turn down free Coke if, say, the Coca-Cola company read my books and wanted to say thanks or whatever. (I also have a character who drives a superbadass ‘69 Chevelle, the uberfast 427. So, um, Chevy, if you happen to be reading this…) But seriously, I do use products and those products sometimes appear in my work, and of course I don’t do it for compensation or anything–it’s versimilitude, or to avoid awkwardness, or whatever–I wouldn’t grumble if the people at Coca-Cola decided to thank me for that, either monetarily or in free products or anything like that. I’m not looking for it, of course, and it’s not why I include the mentions, I’m just saying that while that too might feel a little weird it wouldn’t freak me out.

But this… I don’t know. Am I crazy for thinking this feels different, is different? Am I crazy for thinking I’m not going to do it? Is this some weird ethical hang-up nobody has but me?

What do you guys think?

I could have sworn that I’ve blogged about this before, but I just did a search and nothing turned up, so I guess I haven’t. Or maybe I’m searching wrong. Anyway. (No, I did sort of discuss this before, in this 2007 post, but not with the same focus, so I don’t feel as though I’m repeating myself.)

Here’s the thing. Writing involves making up stories. Perhaps you’re a plotter, one of those bizarre creatures who knows exactly what’s going to happen in the story before you open a shiny new Document and follows your path as tidily as a ballerina with months of rehearsal. (In which case I seriously envy you, despite my snottiness. It’s fond, admiring snottiness, I promise.)

Or maybe you’re a pantser like me, and start with a character or two and a premise, and toss them into the document and see what happens. Maybe like me you have a few vague ideas of where the story will go; I tend to have some sort of idea of what the climactic battle will be like, and maybe a scene or two sort of lurking in the back of my mind waiting to be used.

But either way, you need to make up the story. It’s down to YOU; it’s your responsibility. Quite frankly, a fiction writer who cannot make up a story is not a fiction writer. If writing fiction is what you want to do, you need to learn and absorb the skill of Making Shit Up. Period.

Which is why it drives me insane when I see writers–or those who want to be or claim to be writers–asking people what they should do with their story. Should the hero and heroine get together now? Should the villain do this or that? How old should the characters be? Should the villain die at the end? Should the father be the bad guy?

Then there are the secondary questions, what I refer to as the “unfamiliar” questions. I call them that because the questioner is seemingly unfamiliar with either the genre in which they are writing, or with books in general. (They could also be called the “Is it okay” questions, since they tend to start that way. These are questions like, “Is it okay if the hero cusses? Is it okay if the heroine isn’t a virgin? Is it okay if the heroine kills the bad guy? Is it okay if the hero gets drunk? Is it okay if the hero has a kid?” etc. etc.

I’d say the latter annoy me more, but honestly, they both annoy me equally.

Wow, it’s been a while, huh?

Sorry. I was, in the words of Bill Murray in Caddyshack, unavoidably detained.

Christmas shopping. Christmas cooking. Having family here for Christmas–my brother, sister-in-law, and two nieces came for a visit. Good Christmas, in all. I got some cool books and a nice big Le Creuset pot to add to my collection (I am obsessed with Le Creuset, if you’re unaware of that).

Also, moving. In a nutshell, our landlord wanted us to buy the house, whereas as time went on we started thinking we did not in fact want to buy the house. But he really wants to sell the house, so we have moved out of the house. So now we’re in an apartment my mom owns, basically. Much cheaper, much smaller, but fine, and frankly we’re happy to be done with the house. The only problem is, we had no one to help us move, really, so spent from New year’s Day until the 5th hauling bags and boxes of stuff around. It was tiring and made me achy, and I’m glad to be done with it.

Also Faerie got her hair cut, which is adorable, but was weird for me as it was her first haircut ever. All that baby hair, gone! It went from butt-length to shoulder-length. The good news is I think the ponytail is just about long enough to donate to Locks of Love, and even better than that is that Princess now wants her hair cut as well, and her ponytail will definitely be long enough to donate. And her hair is very thick. So I’m pleased about that.

And yes it has been very cold here, and we had a little snow.

But enough with the domestic blah blah blahs. (Unless you want to tell me about your holidays, in which case please do!) Let’s talk about fun stuff!

First, I’m debating whether or not to keep the blog on a Monday/Thursday schedule, or if I should just blog when the mood strikes me. Thoughts? (And yes, I know, I haven’t exactly been regular of late, but I’m trying to get back into the swing of things.)

Second, ARCs for UNHOLY GHOSTS went out last month, and I’m already seeing some feedback online. I’ve got a couple of reviews, which sadly I can’t share yet but am very excited about, but here’s some Goodreads updates from one fabulous, charming, and delightful reviewer, if you’d like to take a look.

Third, got my Guest status approval from Dragon*Con for 2010 a week or so ago, so as of now I plan to be there with bells on. (Probably not literally, no. I’m not really a bell kind of a girl. But I’ll be there anyway!)

And I’m working. I have three open projects at the moment and am shuffling my way through them, which is fun. Also have had thoughts on a number of writing-related topics we’ll be covering here on the blog.

Which brings me to an apology. It’s an apology for something you guys didn’t know about, but an apology just the same. I’d intended to use the days before Xmas to convert the Strumpet series to PDF and expand it as a gift to all of you; unfortunately because of the family and everything else, I didn’t have the time. I barely had time to open the computer at all, in fact. So it didn’t get done. I do still really want to do it, and am still working on it in drips and drabs. So do look for it soonish, and if you’re one of those who has asked me about it or who got use out of it, and have any comments on it or anything you feel you’d like to see expanded or gone deeper into (heh heh), please let me know, either by commenting here or by emailing.

I’m also considering, once that’s done, uploading it onto Lulu so y’all can get print copies if you so desire. Does anyone have any experience with that? Because given how bad I am at that sort of thing, I have a feeling I’ll need help when the time comes.

And I guess that’s about it for the moment. I certainly hope you all had wonderful holidays, and that you’re all keeping warm!!

Yes, I’m late. I hate the weeks before the holidays; there’s suddenly millions of things to do and no time to do them. Anyway, I have the second guest post from author Simon Wood, and this one is even better than the first, I think. So enjoy!

I Want It Now, If Not Sooner

I suppose it’s because of the times we live in—we can get anything we want and fast. Technology has placed the world in our hands. It’s just as easy for me to communicate with my friends and family back in England as with my friends in this country. We can get everything in an instant—coffee, movies, music, mac ‘n’ cheese. This godsend has a tendency to make us impatient.

I’m guilty of this. If I see more than two cars lined up in the drive-thru or people standing in front of the ATM, then screw it, I’m going elsewhere. Time and Simon wait for no man.

I’ve seen this trait for instant gratification amongst writers. They want to see their book in print the moment the manuscript spills off the printer. But traditional publishing isn’t like that. It’s a big machine that moves slowly. A lot of planning and a lot of people are involved in the book making process. I had a book release party for Working Stiffs at the weekend and one of my guests asked me how quickly it took from start to finish.

“Nine months,” I said, injecting a healthy dollop of incredulity.

“That slow?” my guest remarked.

They read me all wrong. Nine months is bloody fast! I worked my butt off for six months writing it and the publisher busted his hump for three getting the cover done, copy editing and working with the printer, etc. And this was for a small press book not bogged down by big publishing machinery.

None of this takes into account the process of finding an agent and a publisher. Take my first book, Accidents Waiting To Happen. I started it in January ’99, began sending out the manuscript that September, collected a bucket load of rejections, didn’t land a contract until October ’01, and it wasn’t published until July ’02. That’s three and a half years. If I hadn’t sold a bunch of my stories in the meantime, I’m not sure I would have stuck with it. Three and a half years is a long time to wait.

I won’t say I felt hard done by waiting this long, but I felt I’d paid my commitment and patience dues. My story pales in comparison to some successful writers out there. I know one mystery writer who waited eight years to sell that first book. Another wrote ten novels before he sold one to a major publisher. I can’t imagine writing ten books and getting nowhere. I would have given up a long time before I sat down to write the tenth book.

Vanity presses and print-on-demand (POD) services make it possible to take a freshly printed manuscript and turn it into a book in a matter of days. So I can see the appeal to the writer. Why punish yourself with the waiting game when you can have your dream today?

I won’t condescend and say that just because I waited nearly four years to see my book in print, you should too. It’s a lame and insulting argument.

But I will say you’re doing yourself no favors going for instant gratification. Writing may be an art but it’s also a craft, and crafts have to be honed. A writer, like any craftsman, needs time to develop his skills. Traditional publishing is a big machine and not everything it produces is solid gold, but it contains a lot of talented people whether it be writers, agents, editors, etc. Whether you or I like it, it takes time to be heard. The cold hard fact of the matter is just because a writer writes doesn’t mean he or she deserves to be published. Your work may not be ready yet, your subject too controversial or worst of all, you may not be good enough. Writing is a leap of faith. A writer’s belief in their work and dedication to the craft can all be for naught. Every time I commit to writing a story or book, I have no idea whether it will be published. I have a small yet significant body of work behind me, but I hope and pray it will be good enough for publication when I send it off to the publishers.

Vanity presses can bring you publication today, but they can’t give you the distribution, advances, marketing, and editing that the developing writer is going to need to become an accomplished writer. Like I mentioned in my early posts, small press publishers have published my first three books and getting those books seen has been tough. With POD printing services, those hardships are magnified. Reviewers tend not to review self-published books and stores tend not to stock them. For a self-published book to be a success, the writer has to spend the majority of their time selling the book instead of developing their writing skills.

The hardest book to sell will be the first. It may take years, but it’s worth the battle. The difference it will make to your sales and ability to build a career is immense. If you want to see your book published in every store and given every chance for success, then you have to be in it in for the long haul. There are many ways of getting there, but going for instant gratification isn’t the answer.

Every writer (new and experienced) wants their work published, but publish well, not fast. It’ll make a world of difference.

Simon Wood is originally from England but now resides in California. He’s an ex-racecar driver, a licensed pilot and an occasional private investigator. He’s had over 150 stories and articles published. His short fiction has appeared in a variety of magazines anthologies, such as Seattle Noir, Thriller 2 and Woman’s World. He’s a frequent contributor to Writer’s Digest. He’s the Anthony Award winning author of Working Stiffs, Accidents Waiting to Happen, Paying the Piper and We All Fall Down. As Simon Janus, he’s the author of The Scrubs and Road Rash. His next thriller, Terminated, will be out next June. Curious people can learn more at www.simonwood.net.

(A side note: I was supposed to post Simon Wood’s second guest post yesterday, but the day got away from me. Sorry. It’ll go up Monday. Also, sorry this is so late. I slept until almost one o’clock this afternoon; hubs has been out of town for ten days (he got back last night) and I don’t think I slept more than five hours a night the whole time he was gone, including weekends, so I was totally exhausted). Anyway,

Today is Agent Appreciation Day, in which we writers blog and tweet about how much we love our agents, in an effort to make up for not giving them Christmas presents. (Ha, actually that isn’t true. I sent my agent a present last week, and I’m sure most of us send gifts anyway. But still.)

I talk about my agent a lot here, I know. So I actually debated whether or not I even should post anything today. But then I decided, why not. It’s fun to talk about him, and it’s fun to be involved in something like this.

My agent is Chris Lotts from Ralph Vicinanza Ltd., and we’ve been together (in the working sense, of course) for almost two years, which is kind of weird to think about. I queried Chris with UNHOLY GHOSTS on a Monday, and signed with him two days later on Wednesday, which still amazes me. To be honest, I queried him thinking I didn’t have a chance in hell of even getting a partial request, considering how highly regarded he and the agency are; the idea that he would want to work with me and my creepy little “junkies and ghosts” book seemed like a total impossibility.

But I sent the query anyway, because as I said a while ago, “either you think the book is publishable or you don’t.” I did, and I sent the query, and I have never stopped being thankful that I did. In the almost-two-years we’ve been working together he’s sold UNHOLY GHOSTS to Del Rey (US), HarperVoyager (UK), Egmont Lyx (Germany), Amber Publishing (Poland), and Blackstone Audio (audio rights US). He also handled the contracts for DEMON INSIDE and sold the third Demons book, DEMON POSSESSED, to Juno/Pocket. I think it’s safe to say he’s an awesome and very effective agent.

So, to celebrate this most important of Important Literary Holidays, here are the top five things I love about my agent, Chris Lotts:

1. He’s always there. He always takes my phone calls, on the rare occasions I do call (I prefer email). Not only does he take the calls, he’s actually happy to hear from me! He tells me he’s glad I called. He calls me, too. He emails me, and replies to my emails. I once had a problem pop up on a day he’d taken off work. He still saw my email and got involved.

2. He knows how to talk to me. Okay, this one sounds a little weird, so I better explain. It’s not that I need some sort of special white-gloves treatment or anything; if I did he probably wouldn’t be so happy when I call him. But he knows how to calm me down when something upsets me and I decide my career is over. He knows that when I send him a proposal or an idea for a new project, and he hates it (okay, I can hear him in my head right now saying, “I don’t hate it!”, so read that as “he doesn’t think it’s as marketable as some” or whatever) he can come right out and tell me; he doesn’t have to beat around the bush. He knows I can take a joke and that I’m annoyed by hesitation and wishy-washiness. And when I ask questions, even questions that feel to me like they’re probably kind of stupid questions, he answers them and tells me they’re not stupid questions.

3. He’s willing to step in and handle stuff I don’t wanna handle. He stays on top of things like payments I’m supposed to get. He offers me advice, thoughts and opinions. It’s all very professional and makes me feel well taken care of. Which is nice.

4. The agenting stuff itself. Aside from all the personality things and the warm fuzzies and whatnot, he knows how to sell my work. He knows how to get me the best deal possible. He knows what editors are looking for, and when we talk and brainstorm on the phone (yep, see, there’s that talking thing again!) he has great ideas and advice. It’s very cool. It’s nice to feel that through him I’m connected to the industry, and to learn more about it.

5. In April hubs and I went to the Mai Kai in Ft. Lauderdale (this huge, awesome Polynesian restaurant where we used to go all the time when we lived there). The Mai Kai has a gift shop, and in that gift shop I saw two little Hawaiian/Polynesian dolls; you know, the tacky plastic ones with the really big eyes, where the girl is in a grass skirt and the guy in short or something, and they’re both wearing leis? Anyway. I saw these and purely on impulse bought them for him and sent them up, hoping he would get the joke. He did. Not only did he get the joke, he told me he was putting them on his desk. Seriously, how awesome is that?

Of course there are a lot more reasons. But what it boils down to is I like the man, and I like working with him, and I think he likes working with me. I have compete trust in him, and that’s hugely important.

I know discussions pop up from time to time on the internet about the role of the agent. I know there are discussions about what the relationship should be. I know there are people who feel that the agent works for the writer, and so the process of getting a agent shouldn’t be so hard and agents “shouldn’t have so much power” and blah blah blah.

To me the writer/agent relationship is more of a partnership. When looking for a partner in anything, whether it’s business or a work project or your love life or whatever, you don’t just grab somebody and say, “You’ll do,” and get down to business. You get to know them. You talk. You see how it feels, if you click. You can’t just grab any agent and “hire” them, and if you could I don’t think that would be a good thing. Because the relationship is about so much more than “Here’s my book. Go sell it,” or “Go write this book, and by the way you’re not allowed to do X, Y, or Z.” Chris and I discuss things. We plan things. I tell him how I feel about things and he tells me what his feelings are on it, and I usually take his advice not because I feel like if I don’t he won’t like me anymore but because he’s the one with the experience.

To put it bluntly, I pay him (in commissions) to sell my work, and to give me the benefit of his expertise. Why in the world would I pay him for his advice and then refuse to take it? That’s like hiring, I don’t know, a very famous, very expensive interior decorator, then handing them the paint, wallpaper, and furniture you want him to use and telling him to get to work. You know what I mean? What’s the point in getting an expert if you’re going to ignore everything they say?

This is turning into a longish rant, and I only meant it to be short. Oops. So anyway. My agent. He’s awesome, and I appreciate him.

(For a long list of other writers participating in Agent Appreciation Day, go here.