First, I’d like to thank Stacia for being so spiffy as to let me hang out here. It’s just one o’ many reasons why I owe her something strong in a short glass (which may or not be adorned with a piece of fruit).

One reason I owe her is because of last summer. I’ve been waiting around for my debut since the fall of 2009; I could have debuted in 2010, but Del Rey convinced me to try an unusual release schedule where my first three books would come out only a month apart, blam-blam-blam. Last year, I got to watch how that worked for Stacia, since she had the same release schedule for her Downside books with the same publisher. Aside from all the reviews and chatter about the books on the Internet(s), I saw in bookstores that you couldn’t avoid seeing her titles—all three facing out—unless you were determined to be boring and stay in the nonfiction section.

And then, of course, the covers were so awesome you had to pick them up and see what was up. At least, you had to if you like to look at beautiful people.

Shall I simulate a male reader’s thoughts as he walks by three books featuring Chess Putnam? “Wait. That girl on the cover is hot. And there she is again! Dude! Third time’s the charm! And she’s getting hotter! Why is she looking at me? What is this series about? I wonder if there are any naughty bits inside?”

Watching how it worked was valuable for me since I’d missed out on the last time this had been done—years ago with Naomi Novik’s Temeraire novels. It’s a strategy that encourages avid readers to begin a series with three books in quick succession while simultaneously luring in bookstore browsers with a strong presence on the shelves.

It’s been a long wait to see HOUNDED hit the market, but now it’s out there and will be followed by its sequels in June and July.

I will not even attempt to simulate a female reader’s thoughts on seeing these covers, though I will offer a quote a friend of mine: “Yum!” she said. Succinctly put, I thought.

The series is about a Druid—apparently a yummy one—named Atticus O’Sullivan, who’s been hiding out from Irish gods for a couple of millennia. He keeps his appearance youthful to blend in, and who would object to looking that good forever? The novel begins as the Irish gods find him and he decides to fight instead of run. But this decision will have a sort of domino effect among many pantheons besides the Irish one. You can get a rundown on all the books by clicking here, and since I’m all over the Internet(s) today, including the homes of many Leaguers, you can get a list of what’s going on at which site by visiting my blog.

An artist’s rendering of Marta:

So Marta, thanks for stopping by today! You’ve written four books in the Casa Dracula series; the new one, HAUNTED HONEYMOON, is the last. Could you give the readers a general idea of what the series is about?

Thanks for having me, Stacia! The Casa Dracula books are romantic comedies about quirky, fun, sexy, and bright Milagro de Los Santos, who gets accidentally infected with vampirism and involved with a pack of snobby vampires. These people claim that they aren’t vampires, but have a genetic condition. During the course of the books, Milagro falls in and out of love, escapes anti-vampire extremists, defeats vampire zealots, tries to earn a living, while finding time for flirting and parties.

Each book is also a step forward as Milagro grows up and finds her place in the world.

Haunted Honeymoon is the final book in the series. Can you give readers a hint of what to expect?

Mil is having a torrid affair with dangerous and secretive Ian Ducharme, a member of the Vampire Council, but she still misses her ex-fiance Oswald Grant. She distrusts Ian and finds him immoral, while she admires Oswald. When Ian’s shenanigans with his seductive neighbor infuriate Mil, she takes off to London for a job assignment and meets a sexy young vamp who’s both a good guy and fun, too.

When she returns home, though, the bodies start piling up and Mil is being set up for murder. She’s basically kidnapped, held, and “harshly” questioned by a nameless organization. She escapes and runs to Oswald’s ranch. An accidental blow to her head results in amnesia and she forgets all about her life with the vampires. She’s got the opportunity for a re-do with Oswald, but she’s also got enemies looking for her. Will she make the same mistakes again?

So what made you want to do more humorous urban fantasy? Did it just come out that way, or did you always want to write funny?

I always wrote funny. I wrote serious too. I studied creative writing at a Fancy University and I wrote really grim, third-person, present tense fiction. However, every now and then I’d crack and turn in a completely inane story with cartoons. I’d read it to the class and everyone would stare at me and I could practically see the little WTF? bubbles over their heads.

It wasn’t my intention to write urban fantasy. When I started my first Casa Dracula book, I hadn’t even heard the term urban fantasy. I was just writing a funny story to amuse myself. I wanted to make spoof cliches about vampires being rich, gorgeous, and accomplished, and that fit well with a comedy-of-manners set up. Toss an aimless, broke, sexy, bright, and snarky girl into the scene and hit the frappe button.

Legend has it that Sir Donald Wolfit’s last words were, “Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.” Do you agree? And do you think he came up with that line years before and was just waiting to use it?

Hey, you’ve been reading my guest blogs! I do agree. I can write stories that make people cry. (Pretty much all you need is a kitten lost in a storm and voila!) But I really get a thrill when I can make people laugh. I think Sir Donald had been trotting out that phrase for years, but no one paid any attention to him until he was about to croak. It’s good to plan ahead with a deathbed epigram, though. I haven’t settled on mine yet, but I’ve instructed that my gravestone read “Mayhem ensues.” I’m also going to have an excruciatingly boring PowerPoint presentation at my funeral service set to an endless loop of “The Wind Beneath My Wings.” Naturally, my husband will be allowed to speed-date during the service. One of my friends suggested setting up tables for Texas Hold-Em Poker, too, but I’m concerned that it might take away from the solemnity of the occasion.

If you could live in Casa Dracula for real, would you?

Yes, I would absolutely live in the real Casa Dracula. It’s located on a gorgeous hillside so it must have fabulous views. I live in a cozy bungalow, which means that there aren’t guest wings, nooks, or formal halls. I like all that stuff. I’m down with the wainscoting, the cartouching, and the parqueting. The weather at Casa Dracula is probably not as nice as mine in California, though. I guess that’s what real estate agents mean when they say location, location, location.

Tell us an embarrassing story from your childhood. Come on, we won’t tell anyone. *snicker*

Gawd, there are so many. I can tell you a sad one, like I was invited to my best friend’s other friend’s birthday party when I was about seven, and we bought one of those plastic balls as a gift. I thought it was a nice present because I would have been happy with it. I overheard the birthday girl complaining to all the other girls about the “cheap” present I’d given her. We just didn’t have any money or know what was expected and I was humiliated.

Okay, a funny embarrassing story. I was invited to another birthday party. There would be a movie first and then a slumber party. My mother was this sweet Mexican immigrant, very young at the time, and she was told that we were supposed to wear pajamas. So she took me already dressed in my pajamas, a robe, and slippers to the gathering and I had to go to the movies dressed like that. It was humiliating, but everyone laughed in a nice way and I still had a great time afterward.

Hmm, you know, I’ve wondered why most of my books have parties that go awry in some way, and I never quite put that together with my childhood experiences. Stacia, I think we’ve made a psychological breakthrough here.

Yeah, that happens to people who visit me here a lot. So you just sold a YA novel, The Shadow Girl of Birch Grove with Tor. Awesome! What’s that one about?

Thanks! I was so happy about finding a home for this book, and Tor is a terrific publisher. The Shadow Girl is a gothic story about a foster teen, Jane, who is invited to attend an elite private school, the Birch Grove Academy, on a full scholarship. She leaps at the chance to escape her miserable foster home and terrible environment.
The headmistress and her family, including two attractive sons, are very attentive to Jane, the classes are amazing, and she meets interesting and accomplished students. But Jane begins to notice that the headmistress and others in the small town are keeping secrets. Why did they bring her here and what do they want in exchange for all they offer?

Are you working on anything else you can tell us about?

I’m working on an adult gothic, a ghostly story that takes place both in the present and in the 1850s. It’s quite depraved and dark, so I’m having a grand time writing it. I have no idea when I’ll be done.

Is Stacia Kane the most irresponsible person who’s blog you’ve ever visited, or just one of the most irresponsible people whose blogs you’ve visited?

No, Stacia Kane is decidedly not the most irresponsible person who’s blog I’ve ever visited. That would have to go to my arch-nemesis SciFi Guy, aka Doug Knipe, who is cavalier and callous with regard to blog tour schedules. He made me do a needlework pillow for him that says “I Wub Hugs” with a moose motif because he claimed that all the other authors had given him moose-themed needlework in appreciation for visiting his site. Then I saw the exquisite pillow listed on one of Ebay’s 99 cent auction. And it wasn’t even real money, but fake Canadian cents. However, you, Stacia Kane, are next on the list. (Also, I’m sending the box of homemade saltwater taffy via overnight mail, like you asked me to!)

Thanks, Stacia, for having me on your blog! Readers know where to find me.

Yes, and in addition to the website and Vampire Wire linked above, Marta has a story in the Mammoth Book of Scottish Romance anthology, so check that one out!

Thanks so much for visiting today, Marta!

AAAND…Marta’s doing a contest! Just tell us in comments what you’d like to have on your tombstone (I know, cheerful, right?) or leave any comment at all for Marta and she’ll pick one random winner for a FREE copy of HAUNTED HONEYMOON! (US/Canada only, sorry.)

So…comment away!

Anyway. Yes, CITY OF GHOSTS was released, and I feel all bereft and weird that my summer release odyssey is complete and there are No More Worlds To Conquer and all of that. At least not until I get books 4 and 5 written, which I shall be starting next month!

But let me quickly point out for those of you who haven’t seen that we’ve done some updates to the site here, including some Deleted Scenes from UNHOLY MAGIC. Check the Fun Stuff page for more, well, fun stuff, an the Media page for interviews and guest blog posts on all sorts of different aspects of the Downside books and characters.

I’ll be back Tuesday with a much longer and more in-depth regular post–tomorrow morning I’m heading to Orlando to crash RWA for a day or two–and in the meantime, my friend David Bridger has just had a book release with Liquid Silver, and here’s here to do a little guest post for me and be all mushy and romantic and stuff. No, seriously, I make fun, because I’m immature, but it really is a lovely post, and David is a lovely man, so enjoy.

Thanks for inviting me, Stace. It’s a pleasure and a privilege to be here with you today.

Since Beauty and the Bastard was released last week, I’ve been thinking about love a lot. Romantic love and other kinds of love, in life and in art.

I realised long ago that everything I write has love in it, and that came as no big surprise because I’ve always been a romantic. I’m someone who sees the romance storyline in action movies like The Terminator and Batman Begins. Yes, Stace, and Die Hard. [Hee! --SK]

Many paranormal romance and urban fantasy stories deal with love in its early stages, when everything is shiny new and heartstopping. And that’s great. I enjoy reading and writing that sort of love, especially when the world is exploding into some grim nightmare around the lovers and they have to deal with all that shit as well as coming to terms with their feelings for each other. It’s magical.

I’m on Team Terrible, by the way, but no spoilers please. Unholy Magic is still on my bedside table, waiting for this blog tour to end, and my pre-ordered City of Ghosts will arrive any time now, so you can bet my nose will be buried in them as soon as my feet touch the ground next week. Because Chess and Terrible? They’re exactly what I’m talking about here. (I hope. ? )

But the kind of love my thoughts have been dwelling on recently is an older love. One that’s had its share of good times and bad, yet still holds together. Maybe one that’s walked through hell and come out the other side, and still holds together.

My wife and I share a love like that.

We’d been married for nine years when our world slid into one of those grim nightmares, that are so great to read and write but not so great to live in. Up until then, we’d been through the normal variety of experiences and we were doing okay. We had three lovely daughters and each of us was enjoying a good career. Then I came home a bit war-damaged and everything changed.

I was paralysed at first, and we had no way of knowing if I’d ever move again. I did, but it was two years before that happened and several more years of wheelchairs and sticks until I got back on my own two feet again. It was very painful and very scary. And that was just for me.

She left her career to look after me. No quibble. No second thoughts. Just dropped it and came home to become a full-time carer. What neither of us knew about back then, is how full-time carers often become non-people as far as the rest of the world is concerned. So it wasn’t only me existing in a quiet cocoon while my old life sailed on without me. The same thing happened to her, too.

That part of our lives lasted about ten years, and it wasn’t fun. But she stuck with it. She’d be the first to tell you she isn’t a natural nurse, and that I’m certainly not a natural patient, but she stuck with me. And when we came out the other side, our love had been forged in fire. We’d been close before, but now we were a single unit.

Oh, I’m not going to pretend that we share some kind of hive mind. We’re two independent people and our ideas often differ. Sometimes loudly. But we’re strong together.

Which is why life became hell when she got sick last year. She was very ill for fifteen months. Still hasn’t recovered fully yet, but she’s on the mend now and it’s going to be okay. This time last year, though, we thought we were losing her.

I have never been so desolated, as the way I was when I considered what life would be like without her. At the time, she didn’t even know things were so bad. For the worst four months she was morphined up to the eyeballs and didn’t really know what was going on. But I knew, and I thought I was losing her.

It just hit me again now, remembering it.

You know where I’m going with this, don’t you? Our love, already strong and flexible and sharp, has been forged in the fire again. Twice-tempered steel has nothing on us.

That’s the kind of love I’ve been contemplating recently, and it’s that kind of love I want to write about soon.

I know a few of you already know Bernita Harris, from around the wide wide internet, but if you don’t, here’s a little introduction.

Back when I first started blogging as December–well, actually, I found Miss Snark, and wanted to comment there, so needed to set up a Blogger blog, and that’s what I set it up as–I noticed this particular commenter there, this very smart and gentle and funny lady named Bernita. And then she started showing up on my blog, which was a surprise–a lovely one, of course, but a surprise nonetheless. (The fact that other people started showing up on my blog as well surprised me every time.) So of course I started reading her blog, and it was delightful and smart. This went on for a couple of years. Bernita was there to cheer my every success, and the success of everyone else in her wide circle of friends; people are simply drawn to Bernita.

Occasionally Bernita would post snippets from the book she was working on, a fun paranormal about a character named Lillie St. Claire. And I always thought they were great; snappy and fun, well-written, interesting…and I was right. bernita finally submitted the book to Carina Press, and they of course snapped it up, and now you can buy DARK AND DISORDERLY, a delightful book by a truly delightful lady. I urge you to do so.

So without further ado, here’s Bernita’s post (with occasional comment from me in brackets, just for laughs).

No Sex? What Do You Mean, No Sex?

Stacia, you blessed girl, thank you for having me here today.

A recent poll at Dear Author indicated that 30% or so of readers skim sex scenes. I don’t understand that. Once the basic plot has been established, I’ve been known to skim until I get to the sex scenes! I dearly want to know how the writer has used intimacy to explore and develop the relationship. I have nothing against sex scenes. Dear me, no. [Oh, sure, you say that. But I still feel betrayed--SK]

But. There is no explicit sex in Dark and Disorderly. I admit it. Erotic fail! Oh, there is body-to-body contact and nothing chaste about it either—like this:

“You warned me you were a danger, Leannan, and I think this is what you meant,” he said, and fitted his wicked mouth to my open one. His wicked tongue. Instant lust. I wanted to wrap my legs around him, lock my ankles and pull him tighter. Public place with people passing by be damned, indeed.

I despised myself for that impulse. I despised him for my impulse.

So I bit him.

And it’s not that Johnny doesn’t try to get lucky, more than once:

“Nathan didn’t like to kiss,” I mumbled. “He didn’t like face to face…” Why had I said that?

“Selfish, stupid bastard,” said Johnny, pressing my fist against his chest, moving my hand in slow circles against the sleek fabric of his sweater, then sliding my fingers slowly lower toward his belt. “I like it very much. I like to watch a woman’s face when I make love to her. Lillie, let me take you home.”

As you can see, I took Stacia’s “How To Be A Sex Writing Strumpet” course–and failed. (There’s something puzzling and contradictory about getting an “F” for that, though.) [I hardly think that's failure--SK]

However, Lillie has some quaint, old-fashioned attitudes and though she is strongly attracted to the big, ugly lunk of a psi-crime detective; in the scene above she’s known Johnny Thresher barely a week. A very confusing, busy, dangerous week at that, with a zombie bursting through the front door, a grave-robbing and a riot and so on. She suspects Johnny might be just looking for a casual lay; but at the same time she has the feeling he’s not the sort who thinks with his balls. And there is the additional problem of her husband rather recently and indecently dead and who doesn’t want to stay that way. A husband who, while not destroying her libido, obviously, fractured her sense of worth as a woman. Lillie is cautious because she had been impulsive before; she’d been taken in by smooth flattery once.

Even though sex and death, sex and danger, are irreversibly entwined in our psyches, hot ’n torrid, pick the horizontal/vertical surface of your choice, did not seem to fit with the characters or the plot at this time. Dark and Disorderly does not contain explicit sex. Violence, now, and ghosts and bodies and murder, that’s a different case altogether… [Sigh. I guess violence and ghosts and bodies and murder and grave-robbing work as substitutes.--SK]

Dark and Disorderly: The Adventures of Lillie St. Claire, a paranormal suspense by Bernita Harris, is available from Carina Press, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and most places where ebooks are sold. The first chapter is a free download here. You can find me at An Innocent A-Blog, and I’m on Facebook, somewhere.

I’ve been friends with Jaye for a while, and she is awesome. But what’s even more awesome are her books. See, last year when we were moving and all of that stuff, I really needed something to read during the journey. I grabbed a few books to take with me–can’t remember which ones–during a last-minute trip to my local Waterstone’s.

But what did I see there but Jaye’s RED-HEADED STEPCHILD. And lucky for me I did, too. Like I said, I don’t remember the names of the other books I bought to take along, but I know that after struggling to get through the first three or four chapters of each, I finally gave up and grabbed R-HS. Aaaaaaah. It was like finally getting to take a shower after four days of heavy physical work and sweat. I felt cleansed and refreshed. Yes, it’s first person and we all know that’s not my favorite thing. But, as with all the best first-person POVs, I hardly noticed. I loved the book. Good, crisp writing, likable characters who said interesting things and thought interesting things, humor in just the right places that was not over-the-top or silly (but also not mean-spirited, contrived-sounding snark). I practically cried, I was so happy to finally be reading a well-written book again.

Aaaanyway. The sequel, THE MAGE IN BLACK, comes out tomorrow, and to celebrate, I’ve invited Jaye here to do a guest blog (Ann Aguirre will be here next week, as well, so be prepared). Let’s all be nice to her, shall we? Heh.

Hello, Stacia’s minions!

Do any of you watch RuPaul’s Drag Race? If you don’t, you should. Why? Well, in addition to being hilarious and catty, the show is chock full of awesome catch phrases. Two of my favorites are, “The time has come for you to lip synch … for your life” and “Don’t f**k it up.”

I mention this because suddenly my life has become a lot like an episode of the show. Instead of tucking and strutting on the main stage, I’m pimping a new book. Promoting a new release is a lot like lip synching for my life. Because after my performance is done (writing the book), my fate is decided by the judges. Reviewers and readers will either love it or hate it (if I’ve f**ked it up). Or worse, they’ll give my book the hand and ask me to sashay away.

But this leads us to my third favorite RuPaulism: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love someone else?” To an author, this translates to:”If you don’t love your book, how can you expect anyone else too?”

So in that spirit, I’ve decided to share with you all the things I love about this book.

1. The part where Sabina gets into a kung fu style show down in the middle of a Kum-n-Go gas station.
2. The fact Sabina’s demon minion, Giguhl, gets involved in a demon fight club.
3. The vision quest scene involving psychotropic drug use and bizarre visions involving vampiric snakes and the ghosts of people she’s killed.
4. The part where Sabina gets shot by an unwilling blood donor.
5. Adam’s attempt to “distract” Sabina.
6. The line, “Lady, I piss insight.” Spoken by Giguhl, naturally.
7. Valva, the Vanity demon.
8. The scene with the nymph prostitutes and the blue satin demi-bra.
9. The kick ass fight between Sabina and the Alpha werewolf of New Your City.
10. The part where Sabina tosses her cookies on the feet of the ancient and venerable Hekate Council.

All that said, I’m a little biased. But the good news is you can go buy it for yourself and decide what you like (or not) about the book.

And you definitely SHOULD go buy it, just as fast as you can. Okay?

Jaye may pop in and out through the day, so ask her questions or leave her comment if you like. I know how shy most of you are but I promise she’s nice. Mostly.

Oh, also, I’ve been informed that I was nominated for an Author Blog Award. Of course I won’t win, but if you vote for me you can get entered to win some pretty cool prizes, so go and vote! The deadline is tomorrow–I guess I’m a pretty late nominee, huh? Of course I am–but there is still time, so go for it and hopefully win something.

And that’s pretty much it for the moment.