First, take Mark Henry. Please! Ba-dum-bum. No, seriously, take him. Or rather, take his book. Well, don’t take it, as in steal it, you understand. Take it as in to-the-register. Mark’s awesome, amazing first book in his completely hilarious Amanda Feral series–called HAPPY HOUR OF THE DAMNED–has been re-released in mass market paperback today, and you need to get that bitch on your shelf, foreals. It’s a mass market paperback! What could be better? Only $7, and that perfect mmp size. (I love mass market paperbacks. They’re my faaavorite.)

See, here’s the thing. The Amanda Feral books are so funny and awesome. They’re not strictly urban fantasy. They’re like Christopher Moore mixed with Anna Wintour, if Anna Wintour lived on Soylent Green. (Which, who knows? I’m not saying she does or doesn’t. Hey, it’s not for me to judge, right?) But for some reason, some reason I cannot fathom, the books didn’t quite catch on the way they should have, the way those of us who’ve read them thought they absolutely should. I know most of you who read here know Mark, and how awesome he is. I know most of you probably read my initial review of this book on its trade paperback release, in which I confessed the deep jealousy the book inspired in me because I could never in a million years be that funny and original.

The point is, the books are awesome. And WE NEED THEM. We need books like this, so sharp and different. Books that cast such a clear and sarcastic light on our world. We need this kind of mean-spirited but good-hearted fun. But we might not get more, if this mmp re-release doesn’t sell well. (Mark explains it here.)

So go and get it. Head for your local bookstore. Or get it online, even. Mark explains here, with links, how you can even get your copy personalized, by him.

Now. I happen to have in my possession cover flats for DEMON POSSESSED and UNHOLY MAGIC, the second Downside book. (No, I don’t have any for UNHOLY GHOSTS.) The UNHOLY MAGIC flats have the book’s blurb on them. I have not released the blurb yet, and didn’t plan to for several months, because…well, because I think it’s more fun that way. BUT. If you buy the mmp of HAPPY HOUR between today and…hmm…let’s say Feb. 16th (which gives you two weeks), and let me know you’ve bought it (either through commenting here or emailing me), I will enter you in a drawing to win both cover flats (which I will sign, if you like). In fact, I may very well pick more than one winner.

Okay? So get to buying!! Amanda feral needs you, and not just for dinner.

Okay. Other books you can put on your list. First is ACCIDENTALLY DEMONIC by Dakota Cassidy, who is awesome and funny and warm and smart and cruel, in the way only a former beauty queen can be. Although you probably don’t need me to tell you that, since everyone knows and loves Dakota and her books.

Last, and certainly not least, is SHADOW BLADE by Seressia Glass. Okay, here’s the thing. I love this book for a number of reasons, mostly just because it’s awesome. I’ve always thought Seressia was a great writer and a very cool girl. And really, that’s why you need to buy the book. I’m only on page 85 so far and had to force myself to put it down in order to write this post.

But there is one other reason as well. The main character, Kira Solomon, is a beautiful, strong, funny, smart African-American woman (as is Seressia herself). I’m not saying buy the book because it has black characters or was written by a black author. But I am saying, I’d love to see more racial and ethnic diversity in the UF world, and publishers will produce what readers buy and support. So show them that we’ll all buy and read and love books with MCs of color; books with those characters on the cover, too. Seriously, this book is so good. Really cool. Go get it.

(Oh, and while you’re at it, should any of you feel the need to pre-order any of MY books, that would of course be fine too. Just in case you thought I might not want you to or anything like that. It’s okay with me, I swear.)

And now, something that I am betting money Mark henry will figure out how to fit into a book. An inventor has created the world’s first talking sex robot. And to me, at least, it looks a little bit like Catherine Tate. Apparently it has a kind of voice-recognition software that is like artificial intelligence, it not only makes orgasmic sounds but vibrates to “simulate” orgasm, and it will “respond” when you speak. My guess is the responses will be things like:

“You’re so smart!”
“You’re so funny!”
“Won’t you please have sex with me now? I’m tired of talking.”
“You’re my hero.”
“Wow, how is it that you’re always right?”
“You’re amazing!”
“Your cock is so big it scares me!”

…but those are just my guesses. Anyway, it’s seven grand, which it seems to me for that price you could pay a hooker to come by a couple of times a week to laugh at your jokes and fake an orgasm, but, again, who am I to judge, right?

And I’m going to stop talking now, because it’s far more important that you all run out to the bookstore or get to online orderin’. Go do that, and remember, I’m giving away signed cover flats!!